“faith must precede all effort to understand... faith comes first to the hearing ear, not to the cogitating mind”

I've been reading this book by A.W. Tozer called "Knowledge of the Holy", initially not because I wanted to, but because on my ordination application I have to mention 3 books that have taught me about holiness and I needed a third. Though it is a little bit wordy and pretty intense, I am glad that I am reading it.

I have the opportunity to speak to a group of high schoolers and middle schoolers each week. Which is really a great opportunity, but can be intimidating at times. Not so much because they're students, but because I am responsible with giving them, most likely, the only dose of the Bible that they will hear of in a week. I am part of God's communication to them each week.

I have a hard time defining myself. Am I more left brained or right brained? Am I more creative or more logical? I think it is hard for me to 'define' myself because of my deep desire to be a people pleaser, and with that I try to be everything to everyone. I like to create, but I also like logic. I like to be by myself, but I love being around people. My personality tests are always pretty close to the median in all categories. When approaching the truth I speak to students each week, I have a hard time plotting out how to say what I know to be true.

When I work on a message to speak either to students or a church congregation, I always feel like I do a better job when I 'feel' what I am speaking about. Recently I had the opportunity to speak in our sunday morning service and I 'felt' God wanted me to speak on Satan, I didn't know exactly how to do it, but that's what I knew I had to talk about. All that week I struggled with what to say and how to say it, to not just say the christian cliches or to just to give 3 steps to overcome Satan. By Saturday afternoon I 'felt' it, in my heart I could 'feel' what I believe God wanted to say & I was excited about saying it. I could see the faces of people in the church and what this truth from God would mean to them. I 'felt' it was meaningful and relevant and true.

When I was reading this book by Tozer and came across this quote, “faith must precede all effort to understand... faith comes first to the hearing ear, not to the cogitating mind”, I realized this is what the 'feeling' is. In my ministry I struggle with what to say and how to say it because I don't just want to spit out cliches or common Christian lessons, but I want to give them the Truth because I know it's true, I've felt it and I am excited about it.

To experience God in heart, soul, and mind tastes so much sweeter, than the blandness of reading Him like an encyclopedia.